Deep Breaths...

Last year sometime I decided that I was going to apply to graduate school. I have always wanted to get a Masters Degree, partly for me, somewhat for the security that comes from more education, and partly because I am too competitive with my extremely brilliant spouse. So I hoed and hummed and dragged my feet for several months and then finally signed up to take the GRE (GRE=test of death). The GRE did not go well, let just leave it at that. However, way back in December I applied to grad school anyway.

Well since we will be paying off law school student loans for eons to come I decided that I needed to go to a state school, after all that is why we live in VA and not DC. So there is really only one Sate University within reasonable distance that had the masters program I was looking for; that's right folks, despite what my mother taught me I put all my eggs in one basket and applied to only one school!

Then came waiting, so I waited, then the school informed me that there were changes within the department and it would be a while longer. So I waited some more, two more months to be exact. Then I gave up hope and convinced myself that I did not really want to go to grad school, that I really had little hope of getting in, and that teaching ballet was my new career and damn it I was going to good at it. But I emailed the university and asked if they had made a decision anyway - to which I was told they had and I would get a letter soon. Then I waited some more, it was painful, I was stalking the postman. 

Well the letter finally came! And after getting the mail and while walking to the car to get the groceries I tore the damn thing open and upon seeing the word "congratulations" I started to cry. Apparently I did want to go to grad school after all! It was such a relief to have a direction in life again, to feel successful, and to get something I really wanted. But then the fear set in, the fear of going back to school, the fear of the unknown and of the debt that I would accrue in the process. I lied awake at night for hours going over and over in my head whether or not I was making the right choice and if I could really handle grad school. However, sleepless nights, debt and doubts aside I have decided to go for it.

So as of Fall 2011 I will be attending George Mason University working towards my Masters in Public Health (MPH) - Go Patriots!